lowell abellon

Lowell Abellon. Occasional Actor. Wannabe Writer. Fast Food Enthusiast.

 *Full Disclosure: We are breaking form, people! The following interview is a reimagining of the original. The initial interview was complete CHAOS. There was a lot of insecurity, multiple starts and stops, and a trip to the bathroom. I’m taking extemporaneous speaking lessons because I’m such a mess when people ask me questions.  And after that interview, it was clear that I needed to take more.

 I probably should have smoked weed to relax but weak lungs and my father dying of nasopharyngeal cancer have prevented me from ever doing so. We’ll get into it. Maybe.

 Now to be honest, I didn’t want to do this interview because I’m just not as eloquent as the cast of Queen Charlotte.  Have you seen their press interviews? The wit! The chemistry! I also don’t feel like a real “creative” or “artist” because I want to make money. But because Mack is Mack, I reluctantly said yes, because c’mon it’s Mack. We’re bonded since we failed The Groundlings together.

 I also agreed to doing it because it would be a fun little time capsule right? It was approximately seven hours before Story would perform her first ever EP live, I came directly from a commercial audition where I was requested to dress like a friendly neighbor from the Midwest (I used Korean hair product for the photos though because you know vanity), and Mack almost died the night before. We won’t get into it.

 So that’s the context, hopefully you don’t misunderstand me but I probably should stop putting so much care into what other people think and hopefully I’m allowed to change my answers as I experience more life, because they’ve definitely changed from the first interview.

 Apologies for such a long preface. I tend to overcontexualize. It’s fine if you stop reading.

Why are you a creative?

 I think by design, we’re all creative. Look at what happened during the pandemic, people created, the people made bread.

Why do you want to be an actor? Why did you get into acting?

Ugh. I hate this question. I don’t like telling people I do this. See, I can’t even say it. It’s hard to call myself one because I feel like I haven’t done enough? And I know you shouldn’t do that, but I do, not all the time, but most of the time. Sorry. Also, it feels so silly. It feels selfish. It’s challenging.  But it’s also so much fun. Time passes by so quickly when you’re in it and so slowly when you’re not.

My dad was very sensitive and my mom is super confident. So that combination...

...makes you an attention whore.

Yes.

 But not all the time. One of my favorite things in theatre is when you exit the stage door and nobody recognizes you. You felt like Superman on stage and now you get to be Clark Kent again.

 I’m also such an overthinker and acting requires you to make a choice, it asks you to be intentional.

What is your process as an actor?

First, I have to quiet the voice in my head that tells me I can’t. And then I usually work from the outside in. I have to convince myself that this face and this body can bring these words to life. For the longest time I felt like the best actors were blank canvases, blank pages, empty vessels waiting to be filled but I don’t really have that luxury. The first thing you see when you look at me is that I’m Asian, wait let me own it, Filipino. And people are going to attach or project whatever they want on me before I even do or say anything. I can either align, subvert, or surprise them based on those preconceived notions. I’m learning more and more that your specificity is your currency.

What is your biggest failure as a creative? 

Not backing up my work onto the cloud or an external hard drive. I just finished my first screenplay. Then my laptop crashed. It was so bad I needed to go to a data recovery specialist. I had to ask myself, is your work worth saving? Was your time and effort worth that much? I surprisingly said yes. Good for my self-worth, bad for my credit score.

Why don’t you quit?

 I think I would absolutely regret it if I didn’t continue to try. Many of my regrets in life stem from that – not trying because I was too afraid…because of failure, the unknown, caring too much about what other people thought, etc.  Alright, I’m going to flex. Can I flex?

Flex.

I feel like I’m good at many things. Like I can do other jobs. And yet I keep getting pulled back to this one. I hate how I love it so much.

When do you feel the most true to yourself?

Eating in a parked car alone while listening to a podcast.

When was the last time you cried?

 This morning, watching the series finale of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I teared up. But my big ugly cries have been watching Noelle with Anna Kendrick…

Such an underrated movie.

 Right? I cried when she put on the suit. Also, the ending of Mr. Holland’s Opus and Armageddon.

 Oh, and reading the love letters between my parents after my dad passed away.

 Sad things don’t usually make me cry because life, by default, is already so sad. The moments when people triumph and overcome, that's what brings me to tears.

What’s your greatest fear in life?

 There’s a lot to unpack here so my answer will be all over the place. Forever really scares me, I think. The thought of it overwhelms me. Not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel is terrifying. Not being able to retreat or find relief.  I get scared whenever I can’t fall asleep. Escape and quiet are really important to me. I value my rest. 

 Also root canals.

What’s a heartbreak that changed you as an artist?

 A certified public accountant told me that because I wasn’t making enough money as an actor, for IRS purposes, it would be better to treat it as more of a hobby than a profession. My parents have been telling me that my whole life but now the IRS too?! It was a reality gut punch. But it was also a bit of a wake-up call. It got me motivated.  I qualified for SAG health insurance last year for the first time, so that’s progress right?

What advice would you give to your younger self?

 Dare to fail!

 I would give myself Atomic Habits by James Clear and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert to read. Then show Steven Yeun in Beef, Bowen Yang on SNL, videos of Bruno Mars and BTS, watch Train to Busan, Physical:100, Crazy Rich Asians, Squid Games, and Ke Huy Quan’s acceptance speeches to show that it is possible.

 There’s gotta be more Filipinos on that list though, so let’s do something about that, please.

What do you hope to create that will continue to repeat? 

 I hope to create memories for people and the people I love. Nostalgia is a beautiful and powerful thing. I hope I don’t get dementia.

What do you feel like you are on the verge of? 

 I feel like I’m on the verge of financial bankruptcy. This is probably the most broke I’ve ever been in my life. It sucks that everything costs so much – the lessons, the classes, the services, the personal projects, the equipment, it’s an investment…I hope. I’m also well aware that I’m wearing Bombas socks, so there’s that too.

I feel like I’m on the verge of signing up for a dating app.  Is there one where the woman makes the first move?

Yeah, Bumble. I’ll help you create a profile.

Oh. Maybe later then.

Okay, how about creatively, what are you on the verge of?

I think I’m on the verge of finally owning that this what I’m going to do.  I’m ready. So, are you there God? It’s me, Lowell. I’m ready….I think.

Say one thing you love about yourself and why?

 This is a difficult question because I could use a longer neck, a jawline, and a deeper voice. I knew this question was coming and I had to think about it A LOT and this is what I came up with: I love that despite all my many fears, insecurities, and doubts, I continue to move forward. I press on.