DYLAN ARNOLD

What’s your name, age and profession? 

Dylan Arnold. Age 28. Actor 

How would you describe your mental health at the moment? 

Oh. I think it's like, wow I am really struggling. I just have to preface, I just had the thought that I want to say something interesting. I have that feeling a lot of the time - especially in interviews, I feel like I have to say something interesting!

You don’t have to say something interesting, you are interesting. 

Okay. (Laughs) Well then my mental health… I think it’s pretty… stable feels like an awful word to use because I don’t think anyone’s mental health is stable all the time and anyone who says so is lying - hot take. But I would describe that it’s like a big lake, and right now, it’s a pretty calm day, so it’s feeling alright. But I think I get nervous to even investigate where my mental health is at because I think it digs up stuff that I wouldn’t expect. But I think it’s good to investigate. Right now? In this particular moment -  I am appreciating life and where I am at, not necessarily in life or my career, but just where I am at - at this moment, and I have been really able to appreciate life around me, and whenever I do that, my mental health is a little more stable. When I can acknowledge the beauty of life, and nature, and the people around me, it’s better. 

Why are you an actor? 

I have been acting for so long, and it’s always a hard question to answer but I think it just feels right when I do it. It’s not necessarily fun all the time when I do it, but it feels right. It feels like I’m flying, and it feels like something my energy should be put into. I think living in LA, it’s really, really hard to stay grounded in why I became an actor. Everywhere, everyone is looking for success, and who has success, and how success validates you. And at times I feel myself trapped in that, like, “oh, this really cool job I got - well I have value now.” But then I have to be like woah, that is not why I am doing this. And that’s not the kind of career that I want to have. Like, I want to investigate different parts of me and different energy and work with cool people who are also really passionate. There is an amazing, magical energy that happens when you are really in a scene with someone, where everything else falls away and you’re not thinking and it’s just this thing you can’t control. And anyone who tries to control it - it doesn’t work. I try to pay attention to actor’s performances and sometimes I’m like, “why is that not working?” And it’s usually because they are trying to control a certain element of it. And I do that too. But the real magic is when you’re letting it all fall away and you’re not thinking, you just explore and dance and allow yourself to be unique. (Laughs) I love it. I think that’s the thing I love talking about the most. 

What do you want people to feel when they interact with your art?

I kind of want them to not know how I did it. That’s what really impresses me when I witness someone’s art and go, “how did they do that?” And not feel like I need to recreate it, but just appreciate what it is. I want people to feel inspired, and to be inspired to do whatever they want to do - whether that’s acting or anything else. And I think the ability to transport someone is really special. I have really struggled over the past couple of years with if what I am doing has any meaning in life - or if I am contributing to life at all. Especially during the pandemic, I was like, I am not doing anything - I am not saving anyone or helping anyone. But no, acting is a way to allow people to escape. It’s telling stories and that is something so necessary. 

Did that answer the question? I’m struggling at the end of every question because I’m like - did I just say, anything? That’s why interviews are interesting because this is just how I am feeling at this moment in time, and tomorrow I may feel differently. It’s scary because as an actor you say something and then people are like, “these are your beliefs! You must stick to your beliefs!” But they are changing all the time - this is just where I am at today. 

This is where he is at today! I’ll be sure to highlight that. 

Whenever you feel like you are struggling to connect with a character, or you feel like you are in a slump creatively, how do you get your chutzpah back?

It’s interesting, I’ve noticed a pattern in myself where - acting is one of those things where it isn’t tangible - it’s not like sports where you can look at the stats and go: did they play well or did they not? It’s really just a feeling. And I’ve come to realize that when I am in a slump, I know that right around the corner is when I will hit it. I will sit into a nice rhythm. So I have been able to trust the slumps more. I’ve been able to trust the process and say, “okay, I think the fact that I am in my head about something, or I am stuck somewhere, means that there is going to be a breakthrough around the corner.” So I can sit in the buzzing energy of myself more, while still knowing I’m also gonna hit a slump again. I think that a slump for me, is when I’m thinking about something too much, but when I do overthink, it yields discovery. So, just keep going. Allow the slump to happen. I’ve had slumps that send me into, “I’m trash, I’m nothing, I’m never gonna act again.” But then if I’m not on my own side, who is gonna be?

Especially with auditioning, I’ve been fortunate enough to have consistent auditions over the past few years, and I’ve been able to - if I’m not feeling one thing - I get to jump into the next. But if I didn’t have that, I think it's a lot harder to get out of that. So then, I would have to figure out something on my own where I get to act with somebody in something that sparks me creatively. Because there are a lot of auditions that don’t spark me creatively. But you always need to find something that gets you excited creatively. 

What has been one of the hardest things that you have had to overcome as someone who has chosen to be an actor? 

Probably guilt that I have had so much support over my life. I have been very fortunate with the support I’ve been given. My parents have always supported and encouraged me, and although it hasn’t necessarily been easy, I have that support to know it’s all going to work out. I feel very spoiled for the amount of faith I have in myself. I’ve had moments over my career where I have to go, “don’t compare yourself to other people”, and that’s a big thing I have been stuck doing. I try not to “be” like someone else. But for the most part, I have had a lot of faith in myself and that things will work out - and I don’t want to take that for granted. And recognizing my race, my gender, my socio-economic class, it’s just a given in my life I suppose - and I do feel a lot of guilt about that. I struggle giving advice, ever, because I feel like it’s not fair to. Things have been easy for me. 

But it’s rare to have someone in your position recognize that. A lot of people don’t sit in their privilege and see that it’s unfair. 

Yeah, a lot of people just think they deserve it. It’s the whole Donald Trump mindset of, “oh I got a small loan of a million dollars.” And the fact that Kylie Jenner has been dubbed the first self made millionaire. What? These people didn’t come from poverty, they came from such a higher place where things were set for you. 

Well then, this next question may not sit right with you. What’s your advice for someone who wants to become an actor?

(Laughs) Well I can try! But, I don’t feel like I have worthy advice to give. That’s probably self-judgment but, I do recognize that - for example - I haven’t had to do the thing where I cold-call agents and send my resume out. I had a small boutique agent in Seattle, and I got auditions for small roles in TV and Indie movies, some of which I booked and got me credits, and then I went to college, and got a manager through that college, and then I got a bigger agent through the first film I booked. It’s like - things have worked. So I don’t have good advice!  But if I were to try - I would say to find people who support you. 

That’s great advice. 

And trust yourself. And make sure you’re having fun. And find things outside of acting that make you happy because it’s not consistent. It’s not a constant job. When I’m not working I catch myself going, “What am I doing with my life?” But what! Come on dude, have some perspective, and ground yourself. So find something outside of acting that is meaningful. 

When do you feel the most true to yourself? 

When I’m with my friends, and we are riffing on something completely stupid, laughing and nothing else matters. That’s when I feel the most present - finding something with a friend that you both find hilarious, no matter what it is. And being with people and everyone’s energies align, and laughing in the moment and no one is thinking anything. And I’ve struggled not mourning those moments in my life. Because the laughter dies down and it’s almost sad.

When was the last time you cried and why? 

Last time I cried was when I was in India for this conference, and there were these 15 young leaders who were brought in to ask a question to the Dalai Lama. Again - I really struggled with my belonging to be there. I was like, I am purely here because my father is on the board of this company. But what’s funny is, even these 15 leaders who have been doing amazing things around the world also felt like they shouldn’t be there. So we bonded over that, although compared to them, I felt really like I didn’t belong there. But it goes to show, everyone can feel that way no matter the circumstance. Anyway, we were in this circle, and there was this woman from Afghanistan that was sharing her experience escaping from the Taliban. And she felt like in America, for two weeks, all eyes were on the Kabul airport, but the war was much bigger than just the Kabul airport. And then after two weeks, everyone lost interest and no one cared. And I felt like I was a participant in that, watching on social media being like, “oh god, that’s crazy”, and then letting it go. And that happens all the time with social media - you latch onto something, squeeze all you can from it - and then throw it by the wayside. It’s really easy to get trapped in that cycle. We are just faced with so much tragedy that we can’t comprehend, so then we eventually just move on. But these are fucking human beings that we are pretending to care about. And we shouldn’t pretend. And I have a problem with the repost culture of pretending to care. But anyway, when she shared her story of helping these 200 girls escape from an all-girls school, where it is now illegal for these women to be educated in Afghanistan… that’s the last time I cried, really hard. 

What is your greatest fear? 

It changes a lot, but now it’s probably not being present to the moments that are happening in front of me. I recently deleted Instagram off my phone because being on it I was like - I am missing life. So my greatest fear is to look back and go oh, I didn’t appreciate the moments that I had. I think everyone deals with that, especially when they are older. But social media makes it so much worse. I think it was created to stop people from thinking. And it causes this whole issue with perception. People are obsessed. And then there is the problem with creating celebrity. It’s weird. I think celebrity is a mental health crisis.  

Let’s talk about that. 

I had the thought when I saw the article about James Corden and how he got banned from a restaurant in New York because he was acting abusive towards the waitstaff. He had done it a couple of times, and only apologized after the second time. But I read this article, and I thought, celebrity is a mental health crisis. And being in LA, there are more celebrities than there ever has been because of social media, and people feel this self importance that is so unhealthy. They are validated by other people on their phones, no one is called out for their shit, and people stay close to them because they want to see what they can do for them eventually. So we have a bunch of kings running around screaming “off with their heads”, when they see something they don’t like, and they think they have the right to do so. And another dangerous thing, is that celebrities talk about these things that they have no clue about, but they are listened to by more people than those who are experts… It makes you appreciate actors who are good at the work and not in the public eye. I want to be like that - I want to do the work for the love of the game, not to be famous. 

What is the most complex relationship in your life? 

Probably with weed. I think it provides a lot of positive things in my life, and it has led to a lot of wonderful conversations, thoughts, and life-shifting realizations. It has allowed me to confront myself in a lot of ways. But it has also hindered me. It has caused me to stay in and not participate. When I smoke I can’t focus on reading so I feel less productive in my work. And it’s definitely a habit that I fall to when I don’t have anything else going on. I didn’t smoke til I was 18, and then I smoked throughout college thinking, when I graduate I’ll stop. Then I didn't. And I thought okay when I’m 25 I’ll stop. And I didn’t. Now I’m telling myself when I’m 30 I’ll stop. But if I can build a healthy relationship with it, there doesn’t need to be a yes or no approach. It can evolve. But I think it’s important to take time off from it - from anything you have a relationship to like this. 

What is a heartbreak that changed you as an artist?

Wanting to be liked or for people to think that my work is good, and then that not be the case. Maybe they didn’t think my work was bad - but the response was - okay you did the job. When expectations I have of myself aren’t met - that’s a heartbreak that will change me. When I did Halloween in 2018, that was a director that I loved, that went to my college, that everyone talked about. And I really wanted to do such a good job. And I felt trapped by that. And it showed. On set I could feel it. And it’s terrifying when you feel like you’re not delivering what you need to be delivering. And then you think “oh no, am I bad? Am I ever gonna work again?” And that carried on into the second movie. Because I felt this need to impress. I think when I build up these expectations of how a certain project or performance is going to be received, and it’s not received that way, it is really humbling. I felt that way with You. I knew it was gonna be a big project that a lot of people were going to watch, and I feel good about my work in that show, but it’s not like afterwards I was getting offers. I think that’s the most humbling thing. You gotta settle down, do your work, and then leave it. I need to take away the image of what I think it should be. 

When you’re gone, what do you hope to be known for?

Being a good friend. I want to be good company, a good energy to be around, supportive. I have had the morbid thought about my funeral, and I hope that people had a good time with me. I hope my funeral isn’t sad, that it’s just filled with wonderful memories. 

Do you believe in an afterlife or God? 

Oof, I don't know. No. I don’t believe in one God, but I do believe in a universal energy and a universal consciousness. I do believe that that energy is recycled. Call it reincarnation, call it whatever, but I do think that there is an amount of energy that exists in this universe, and I don’t think it is lost or created, I think it is recycled. I think about if reincarnation exists or if I am going to be something in the next life, but I don't really think it matters. Because who the fuck knows. I think it’s a shame when a lot of people live their lives for when they are gonna die - which seems to be a lot of religion. It’s: beg for forgiveness for your sins so you can enter an afterlife…Why are a lot of people living for something that we don’t know what it is? Just live for now. But I do believe there are layers to the universal energy that we cannot see. I think psychedelics allow us to see more clearly into what life actually is. I’m reading a book right now that does say - it wouldn’t be productive for our brains if we were able to see those layers. We wouldn't get anything done, if we could see everything all the time. Our brains have the ability to see more, but it’s just a lack of a chemical that protects us from being too distracted (Laughs). 

When have you felt most loved?

When I am at my ugliest but I’m still accepted. Ugly in the grand sense of the word. When I am my most vulnerable chaotic self and I’m not judged. 

What brings you hope? 

Kindness amongst strangers. It’s really beautiful when there is any connection between strangers, and for me, that brings me true happiness when I go out and connect with a stranger. We get so trapped in ourselves, in our own little groups - people want to find safety in community - but when we can branch out and befriend a stranger and treat them well on a human level - that brings me hope. 

If you could tell your younger self something, what would you want to tell them? 

Don’t try to impress people. Don't try to alter your opinions to be accepted. I’ve done that up until somewhat recently. At school I was so afraid of being judged. But I always admired kids who had their own opinions. And I had my own opinions - but I would always preface them by saying, “oh maybe I’m wrong, or maybe this is dumb”. So now I would say, don’t do that. I would also say, don’t judge people for living the way they want to. A lot of judgment comes from being uncomfortable in yourself - but on the inverse when you stop judging others you stop judging yourself. So if people are happy, and loving their life, please don’t judge them for it. If you’re uncomfortable with something? Look inward. It’s probably your own shame. 

What does success mean to you?

When I hear the word success I think - career. Instantly.  But that’s not all it -  it can also mean life.  Like what does a successful life look like? And I used to think that was happiness. To have a happy life. But now I don’t think that is the goal because I don’t know that it is possible. Instead, I think I want to find ways that I can flourish, no matter where I am. Consistent happiness is impossible so that’s not fair and you will feel like your failing. But to flourish - you can do that in any situation. I want to find peace and ground myself. I want to be connected to the idea that, I’m alive, nature is alive around me, and I can breathe in and take a minute to find peace. Sometimes life gets so chaotic you feel like you don’t deserve that minute. I have to force myself to turn off my computer and take a moment to meditate. And everytime I actually do that, I feel better. And why the fuck can’t sitting in your car, or in a coffee shop, or outside your door, breathing in the life around you, be enough? Why do I feel the need to prove anything? 

But success to me is definitely also being inspired. Inspired to grow. I hope I never get complacent. If I lose that as an actor, well then I’d be smart to find something else. 

Lastly, tell me one thing you love about yourself and why. 

I love my imagination. It allows me to explore life in a way that reality doesn’t always allow. I also love that I’m weird. Dude, it’s the best. It feels like wonderful, lightning energy that is bursting. And I’m definitely enjoying it more in my adult life. It got stamped out in my childhood cause I wanted to fit in, and I was so ashamed. And I’m dealing with that shame still. But now I don’t want to judge myself for it. There is not much use in going “oh I wish I didn’t do that.” I just want to say, “yeah, this is amazing, what do I do now?”  

Dylan Arnold is an actor living in Los Angeles.