Yasmine Hamady

What’s your name, age, and occupation?

Yasmine Hamady Interview, age 24. Actor / Podcaster / Creative 

How would you describe your mental health at the moment? 

Woah. I think I’m kinda going through this transitional period in my life where - I used to feel like you had to be alone to heal - and now I don’t think you need to be alone. I don’t think you need to be in a constant state of sadness to heal and to grow. I think as a culture we like to romanticize and glorify sadness. And trust me, I do. I want to sit and listen to Taylor Swift in a puddle of my own tears, naked on the floor - which I have done many-a-time. But, I think there is something beautiful about seeing the mystery in life and realizing we are like the flower - losing our petals and shedding our leaves, but then growing them back with water and sunlight and love. (Pauses). I just threw up in my own mouth saying that (Laughs). 

Why are you a creative?

I literally don’t see any other purpose in my life.

Do you have a goal as a creative? 

Yeah, to impact and change lives. That’s literally it. And I know this is cheesy but Shakespeare says “all the world’s a stage” and I feel like we are meant to create. We are meant to change lives. And I want to perform whether that’s on a stage or in film or making a podcast series - which I do have! It’s called “Dare We Say” (Laughs). But I want to create something, or direct something, where people leave and go, “I’m thinking about something differently now. I’m looking at the world through a different lens”. I watched the play Amadeus once at The National in London and I didn’t talk for 24 hours after. And me? I run my fucking mouth, I talk a lot. But it got me thinking! It’s like the Hamilton song “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story” - what is the point of all this? You look at all the people who changed the way for the world and so many of those people are forgotten. Statistically there a lot of women of color, queer individuals, queer people of color who built this country and we don’t know or remember any of their names. But I want you to remember mine. 

What is the hardest thing you have had to overcome as an individual pursuing your creative career? 

I think it’s realizing that two things can coexist at the same time. I think in regards to being an artist everyone thinks you have to struggle. To make good art you really have to struggle, you have to be working a small job, everyday, bussing tables, and sending out your resume… I don't think that’s necessarily true. I think there are other mediums to help what you do, and I think social media is a great way to go about that. I don’t think you need to be, at least for me, “I want to be an actor, I want to be an actor”. No. I think, “I am one. I am an actor. I am an artist”. It’s about claiming this space that is mine. 

What is a piece of advice you would give to those who are wanting to pursue something creative but feel out of place, or fearful. 

You only live once. Drake, the founder of our democracy…

Our Canadian founder…

Yes, the Canadian founder of our democracy did say it. Yolo. But I think it goes deeper than that because you don’t die with the twenty dollars or the twenty million dollars in your pocket. You die with the legacy that you had. You die with the impact you made in this world. And if you want to make an impact making art, then fucking do it. Just try it. You have nothing to lose. Don’t sell your family's fortune for it, I’ll say. You should always have money in your bank. But do it. I come from an immigrant Arab family of all engineers, doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, scientists, businessmen. I am one of the only artists. And I am so grateful because my family has been nothing but supportive and that’s very rare. But! Fucking do it. Bradley Cooper once said this to me and I will never forget it… I stalked him once. Not stalked but, I followed - no, I did. (Laughs). My uncle told me he was doing “The Elephant Man” at the Williamstown Shakespeare Festival, and when I was younger I was like, “oh my god, Bradley.” So he was on a run at the nearby track, and I went up to him and asked, “Do you have any advice? I’m an actor.” 

How old were you?

I had just got my period. I was like, 15? 14? Between the ages of 12 and 30 okay (Laughs). And he said to me, “the people you see in the industry, the people winning Oscars, they are really amazing, but they’re not the best. They are the ones who didn’t give up.” He said, “You are going to get so many no’s. ‘You’re too short, you’re too tall, you’re too big, you’re too small.’ Fuck em. Keep going.” 

Wow. 

And this industry? It’s run by men. It’s naive to say “we are making change.” Okay sure, but we still go back to the same things. You have to be a disruptor. If you're not, then you’re in the wrong industry. 

When do you feel the most true to yourself?

Hm. It’s funny you ask that because I was just telling my mom - I’m not gonna lie this year has been a really hard year for me. From like April or March til September I wasn’t me. I wasn’t excited about life. I wasn’t looking forward to anything even though I had things to look forward to. What was the question? 

When do you feel the most true to yourself?

I’m struggling to answer this. (Pauses). The first thing I go to is - me walking by myself in London with my headphones in going to a cafe. Truthfully. It’s not in America. And it’s being with like-minded loved ones. Or honestly? Really high with my brother and sister at night making banana bread. That’s all we did during lockdown, and that’s me. My silly, crazy, goofy self. 

When was the last time you cried and are you comfortable sharing why? 

Of course. Oh! When I told the person I’m with that I loved them. Haven’t felt like this before and don’t know what I did in a past life to deserve this love. What joy it is to love. Especially this one person. I was talking to my therapist - and when I cry, I cry. I cry a lot. And I used to hate that about myself but now I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about me.  

What is your vice when you find yourself struggling? 

Remember in the beginning when I said I romanticize and glorify my sadness? (Laughs). That’s what I do - I like to be like, “I am so sad.” But Kim Kardashian, another backbone of our democracy said, “Get your fucking ass up and work.” And I think that’s another vice. I can’t disagree more but I also can’t agree more. When you are sad, get up and go for a walk. Get fresh air. Be outside. I like writing down things that I am grateful for. I also touch my heart a lot. I fucking love hearts and I don’t think we give our heart enough love. I think it’s good to touch yourself, not even in a sexual way, just - something I like to do is - look in the mirror and say: thank you hips for bearing the weight of my body, thank you knees for holding me up and letting me stand, thank you stomach for protecting my uterus for hopefully having children one day, thank you eyes for letting me see, thank you hair for keeping me warm… And sometimes I lie. I straight up lie to myself. But it’s better to say it than not at all. 

What is your greatest fear in life?

Dying. 

Why?

Because then I can’t succeed. 

What does success mean to you? 

Impacting people’s lives for the better. Not money, not fame. Oh and love. Familial, romantic, or friendships, ugh I want to be rich in love. And I am rich in that. I always say, I don’t know what I did in a past life to deserve the friends I have. I have been blessed with friends. And that wasn’t always the case. When I was a kid I was severely bullied, I had no friends. I lost half my hair. When I was younger I wrote “Jack and the Beanstalk - The Remix”. I wanted to put on a play. And my teacher, this bitch Mrs. Bruner said to me, “This is trash.” And she threw it in the trash - not even recycling. And I didn’t get to put on the play. But look at me now. I have a huge fucking podcast, and I went to the number ten theater school in the country. Mrs. Bruner where the fuck are you? I’m dedicating my Oscar to her. She made me feel so small as a child. She can go fuck herself. And that brings me back to friends. I remember like it was yesterday, kids would pass notes in class, and this one time a girl asked, “Yasmine will you throw away this note for me?” And I opened it up and it read, “I hate Yasmine.” Another time she wrote a note that listed all the things she hated about me, my curly hair, that I was fat, etc. And I told my mom about it and (Screams). My mom stormed the fuck in and was like - this bully needs to be suspended. Meanwhile I was hiding in the bathroom, shaking. That was fourth grade. And now I’m like (to that girl), you’re still living at home with your parents queen, but... go off. 

What is a heartbreak that changed you as an artist?

It must be my first one. My first heartbreak ever with my ex-boyfriend Troy. And now he is blocked. But he was my first love, my first boyfriend, my first time. I was seventeen. The heartbreak was I lost control in the relationship. I used him. I wasn't good to him and he wasn't good to me. And so once I lost control, I was gutted. I thought I was dying when I found out he had a new girlfriend. I have never felt pain like that, I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. I didn’t eat. I threw up every morning. I woke up smelling him. Smelling him! I thought this was it for me - I will never love again, I will never get over it. In Khalid’s album “American Teen” there is a line that says, “I’ll keep your number safe.” He blocked me on everything. After that, as an artist and actor now, I can tap into that heartache that I couldn’t before. I can access that shock. So in some fucked up way I am grateful for it? But I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Now I know I also dodged the biggest fucking bullet of my life by not being with this man. Because he is crazy. And his girlfriend now is, gay. So. (Laughs). 

What is the most complex relationship in your life? 

My culture. My identity. It is single-handedly the most important thing in my life. But also, I struggle with not knowing if I’m Arab enough. It doesn’t matter if you’re half-Lebanese or Arab, or full. Like I am fully Arab on both sides. My mom is white though, she has blonde hair and blue eyes, but she is Lebanese. But because of her genetics, I am fairer skinned. I am a white-passing woman. I have white privilege. But my father is a brown man, my brother is a brown man, my sister is darker than I am. She has more Arab features than I do. And sometimes I feel like I have to prove to other people if I am Arab enough. I have to prove it to other people, to other Arabs. And most importantly I feel like I have to prove it to myself. I am a Lebanese woman through and through. And I am the most proud of that fact about me - my culture. It means everything to me. I used to want to change my name to a white name. I mispronounced my name on purpose until college. But now I proudly pronounce it. Because to change it is a disservice to my culture, my heritage, and my family. Like my mom’s name is Amal which means “endless hope.” My grandmother on my mother’s side, who looks like Donatella Versace is Christine Fares Ameen, but it was actually Abdelbaki but they changed it when they came to America. My grandfather is Mahmoud Danny Hamadeh, my dad's name is Ghaleb Maher, these are all Arab names. I am having this realization right now. Anyways. It’s complex. 

Have you ever been back to where your family is from? 

Yep, I go every year. But I haven’t gone back since 2020, since the explosion and Covid. I lost my home. 

Oh my god. I am so sorry. Did anyone get hurt that you know? 

Oh yes. We lost…yes. And we were actually supposed to be there on my birthday. [The explosion]  happened on my birthday, in my home, because we are right next to the port. Right in front - we have a water view. In my apartment? They found blood. My luggage was on the street. Anyways. Covid saved our lives in a way, because that’s the only reason we weren’t there. We all meet at my house at 7pm to pre-game basically for my birthday. Everyone, my grandparents. And then we go to Music Hall. We have every year for the past six years. 

Are you more like your mom or your dad?

Oh my god (Laughs). They are gonna freak out when they see this. I am the perfect combination of both. I am the apple of my dad’s eye, but I am my mother’s soul. My dad is the life of the party, you can’t help but gravitate towards Danny. My dad is my best friend. Crazy. But he’s my best fucking friend. My mom always says, “Yasmine you have so much content because of living with this man right here.” My dad is literally me. And my dad never had a childhood because of the war. So my dad is a kid with me. My dad and I talk in baby voice, and he is 55. But at what age do you have to stop acting like a kid? I don’t ever want to stop. Ever. But my mother? She is the most generous…she is the best person who has ever walked this earth. I get emotional thinking about my parents. 

That’s okay. 

My parents are single-handedly the best people to walk this earth. They aren’t perfect. Far from perfect. But I love them. 

I want to meet them.

Want to see a photo? (Pulls out phone). This was them 20 years ago. 

They are so hot? They are such a beautiful couple. This is why you have such good genes.  

Oh do you want to see a photo of them now? But yes they are the sexiest couple I have ever seen. Like what??

Your mom could be a model. 

Oh everyone is like, your mom is a MILF. She gets that a lot. 

When you are dead and gone what do you want to be known for?

“We needed her”. I am here for a purpose. I am here to make the world a better place. Whether that is adding smiles, or changing legislation, or changing cultures, and thinking less narrow. I want to be taught in schools. In textbooks. In theater. So cheesy! But it’s true. 

Do you believe in God or an afterlife? And why or why not?

Yes I do. I believe in a higher power. I believe in an afterlife because, how depressing to think you die and then nothing happens. There is nothing else to it. 

When have you felt the most loved?

I know I’m loved… It’s always my birthday. But I have always felt like I have given more than I’ve received. My whole life, to every person. And that’s okay! Even though I know for a fact that I am loved, and that everyone in my life adores me. Would die for me. But I am more visually affectionate. 

Is there one person in your life that you feel that takes down that perception?

Yes. Eva. My best friend. And Grace. They are a soulmate of mine. I have a G tattoo on my ankle and they have a Y. It’s Eva and Grace. But I think the proudest relationship I’ve ever had in my life is Eva. I love her dearly. We talk every single day. 

There is nothing like a good friend. 

Oh nothing like knowing someone who I know would go to war for me. But also they hold me accountable for my actions. Because I’m no angel! I’m no angel. I’m sometimes a bit of a cunt. But I stand by that. (snaps fingers). 

What brings you hope?

Meeting new people. Even meeting you. Because there are good ones I didn’t know existed. And action. Like how everyone showed up for the midterms and voted. When people show the fuck up, that brings me hope. Also early mornings bring me hope. When everyone else is still asleep and the birds are chirping outside my window, specifically at my home in the Bay area. And it's silent, and musky out, and there are deer outside - and just nature. Where the world isn’t bombarded by humans. That brings me hope. I don’t think there is a point to living if there is no hope. 

If you could tell your younger self something, what would you want her to know?

You actually did it. You actually did the damn thing. It’s only the beginning. And you would be so proud of the woman you are. 

What does being happy look like to you?

All insecurities, all worries are left at the door. 

What do you feel is your biggest insecurity?

Am I wanted? Am I enough? Am I needed? 

You are definitely all of those things. 

I know that I am but it’s a leach. Anxiety is a leach, Eva tells me this, it’s a leach in your brain, and, I have mental illnesses, like a lot of fucking people have, but it’s there. And I am gonna take steps to make sure that leach is fucking disintegrated one day.

Last thing, say something you love about yourself and why.

(Screams) Ah! I swear to God, I either have a really big God complex or I think I should be, nothing. Um…I love my ability to make people smile. Whether I know them or I don’t. I make an impact. And people always remember me. I like that.