story slaughter

Story Slaughter. Singer, Songwriter, Actor. 29. 

How would you describe your mental health at the moment? 

Not great. But I am going to therapy. 

Why are you a creative?

Because I am bad at math. (Laughs) No because - since I was born I have been someone with a big imagination. And frankly I can’t do anything else. I am obsessed with art and artists and I want to be surrounded by people and things that inspire me creatively every day. 

What’s your ultimate goal as a creative?

The ultimate goal would be to “Frank Capra” my art. So in the same way that George Bailey taught me why life is wonderful even when it’s hard - I wanna do that. I wanna Frank Capra my art and remind human beings about the good things amidst the hard things. 

What do you want people to feel when they interact with your art?

I don’t care what they feel as long as they feel something - strongly. I don’t want them to walk away apathetic - I want to move them in some way. 

When you are in a creative slump what do you do to get out of it?

Honestly when I am in a slump I watch a good movie. I either watch a movie that I have seen before and know how it inspires me or I watch a movie that is new to me that I am curious about. Because even with writing music, watching movies helps because it’s all storytelling. 

If you weren’t pursuing the arts what would you do and why? 

I would be a 1950s housewife. 

What has been the hardest thing you have had to overcome while pursuing your creative career?

Believing that I deserve a place here. Because I am so hard on myself and I don’t think I deserve any of the beautiful things that I have in my life anyway. And the guilt of success in this life, much less this industry, weighs on me. And more so the bizarre duality of believing like, “I am talented, worthy, a gift” and then in the very same moment also thinking, “I am talentless, worthless, and deserve NOTHING.” That’s hard! 

What’s your advice to someone who wants to pursue a creative career?

Don’t wait on others for anything to “happen” to you. You want to make something? Do something? It is all on you. I wish I never knew what an agent was or what a manager did. I wish when I first moved to LA the adults looked me in the eyes and said, “You will have to do every aspect of this on your own.” Because agents come and go, opportunities come and go. This career is so seasonal. There is no steady pace. You have winters of despair and poverty and summers of flourishing and you have to be okay with that. Also, make friends who see your success as their success and visa versa. The sneaky, competitive people are exhausting and not worth your energy. 

When do you feel the most true to yourself?

I feel the most myself when I am with my friends, dining fabulously, cocktail in hand, and we are delighting in our conversation. But I feel like, I escape the most, and therefore feel the least self-aware or self-conscious when I am on stage singing. That is the best kind of dissociation. That’s when I feel the most free. 

When was the last time you cried? Are you comfortable sharing why?

I mean I cry all the time. I cried last night watching the Golden Globes when Ke Huy won for Everything Everywhere All At Once. But the last time I had a real, guttural, massive cry? (Pauses). I was really blue over Christmas holiday. I cried a lot when I was home. I feel really safe with my family so I feel like I have the luxury to do that. I cried because I didn’t feel heard. And I’ve been honestly grappling with the pain of womanhood a lot lately. Like I have been feeling more anger than I ever have about the disparity in this world between men and women. I had a dark experience this summer that has just, ripped my heart open. And that promotes a lot of tears. 

What’s your greatest fear in life? 

That I will die alone. Never knowing what it is to fall in love and be loved in return. Next question!

What’s a heartbreak that changed you as an artist?

(Cracks up). Uh oh! I hate myself because Saba [Saghafi]’s answer was, “the uprising in Iran” and my immediate thought is like … “this boyyyy” (Laughs). But ugh. Pick a card, any card. I have some spicy options here, but I am going to say that I recently worked for a high-profile person in Hollywood and gosh, did I learn that fame and perceived success in this industry is not it. And that heartbreak of seeing behind the curtain, and realizing just how awful this industry can be, has freed me from the need of being seen a certain way. So it’s heartbreaking when your dream undergoes a change, or the rose colored glasses come off, but this time it really is for the better. And with that, the heartbreak of any friendship lost? That has informed my art quite a lot. 

What’s your most complex relationship in your life? *with a person or a thing*

The relationship I have with the idea of who I want to be. Because I want to be perfect (laughs). I want to be liked by everybody, and I want to have the most enviable body, I want to have an incredibly successful career - while also remaining humble, and cool, and relatable. (Laughs). And oh wait, I have none of those things. So usually I would answer this with my most complex relationship being my body image. Cause I am so, mean, to the girl in the mirror. And have been since the 4th grade, when I looked at myself one day and thought, “Story you are fat and ugly”. And so in 100 degree heat in the Texas summer I layered my t-shirts to hide my belly better. But what goes deeper than that is the whole picture I have painted of Future Story. The obsession I have with the dream “me”. And sadly that means having a tough time with Present Story and Past Story. They get punished a lot. 

How do you feel when you see a “good” photo of yourself vs. a “bad” photo of yourself? And do you feel like people see you in a specific light? 

Such a good question. When I see a good photo of myself I can survive the day. Maybe even feel confident for an hour or two. And when I see a bad photo of myself, it is like every negative thought I have had about myself since elementary school comes flooding in. It’s the reassurance that I am not special, not beautiful, not worthy of love. And it is like this stamp of affirmation as to why I am alone. I am convinced that my looks equate my worth and my loneliness. 

How do you feel people see you?

Actually, I think that people are really kind. I am so much harsher on myself than others are. There are certain people that make me feel insecure but that’s only because I give them the power to do so. So the narrative I have around them is like, “oh they think I am this sad, failure of a girl. They think I am ugly. etc.” And then there are my loved ones. The people I spend time with day to day. Like you. (The interviewer is one of Story’s best friends). And you all make me feel like, I am it. I am amazing. I am so worthy of being loved, it’s just a matter of God’s timing. It’s not that I have messed up my life in some grand way. I just need to be a little patient. But gosh I give the first group more power than the second group. And that’s infuriating because the first group isn’t even real! It’s just what I project! And that is why mental health is so important because it’s really the things we tell ourselves vs. what is actually true. 

If you could tell your younger self something, what would you tell younger Story? 

So in the pandemic I did a zoom call with one of my closest childhood friends, Alexa Ferguson, and she is a leader in Reiki. And she led me through a tapping session where you tap on different pressure points on your body, follow a call and response of affirmations, and then she had me talk to little Story. And that opened the floodgates. A. Telling this girl that her life is gonna be so much better and so much wilder than she could ever imagine. B. Telling her to always keep her faith. C. Forgive herself and others. She shouldn’t wallow in her anger. It’s good for a time but then she’s gotta get outta bed and live her life. Cause there is so much life to live. But now? I would add to that. I would say, “little Story, you will kiss a boy. You will kiss many boys. And love it. (Laughs). Don't you worry! Boys are just around the riverbend Pocahantas. So stop giving them so much attention and energy because also! They are so overrated.”  

Do you believe in God or an afterlife? Why?

Yeah. I do. Because I have to, for me. I have lived life both ways. I have lived out days, weeks, months, where I don’t believe in God. And I have lived days, weeks, months, where I have. And I prefer the days where I have. I find it’s a choice. You can turn off your spirituality. And a lot of people have their dial on one or two and that’s fine. But when the dial is on ten, and you surrender to the idea that there is something much greater than yourself, and that there is a purpose? Everything is part of this story? And maybe it’s that my parents early on endowed me with this name so, I am obsessed with stories - be it movies, or poems, or songs, or dinner conversation - I love storytelling. So the idea that we are all characters in this story that is so much greater than anything we could ever fathom? That appeals to me. And I also like believing in a God of justice because there is such a lack of justice on this earth, in this life. But it’s also a relationship. Having a relationship with God is like having a relationship with a friend. Others aren’t gonna have the same relationship with that friend of yours, but it should be important that you at least talk about your friend. You talk to that friend. That is how God has been in my life. He is like a best friend. We fight. We have periods where we don’t speak. I can be really selfish and mean in the relationship. And then we catch up. And he’s really kind. And He brings me peace. 

What brings you hope?

Random acts of kindness with no agenda. People helping people. 

When you have felt the most loved?

Everytime I talk to my mom. If I think about my mom I’ll cry.

Tell me about your mom.

My mom miscarried her first child. Found out she had ovarian cancer. After that cancer was properly treated, the doctors were kinda like, you have half a reproductive system so the odds of you getting pregnant and carrying a healthy baby to term is significantly - less. Possibly, impossible. So reevaluate your life. Long story short, after years of trying and not getting pregnant, and accepting fate, my parents were like, “God if you’re real, and you’re good, then we don’t need to be parents to be happy, we will surrender this dream. God if you can be bigger than this problem, then we will be okay.” And a week later she was pregnant with me. That’s how I got my name. I was the Story of their marriage and their faith. And I was a healthy ass baby! But I am only here because of my mom’s faith. 

What does success mean to you? What does being happy look like for you? 

It’s personified for me in a fabulous dinner party. In order to have a fabulous dinner party, you have to have a home that you love, that you can afford. You can afford the finest ingredients for the food you are making. You have good music on the record player, good wine is flowing, and you are surrounded by people who you love and love you well. There is laughter and deep conversation, and you are trying to solve the mysteries of the world. That picture of a full dinner table, whether with friends or family, in a shelter that is yours, that is success. That is happiness. You have a space, a community, and provisions. You don’t need much more than that. Except maybe, you should say Grace before the meal. That means you are recognizing that you are just a human being, who gets a brief time on this earth, and there is a God who put you here. Who gave you a purpose. And said, “I love you even when you feel unloved.” All of that together in one night? That’s it. 

Say one thing you love about yourself and why?

I have fabulous taste in people. If you ever find yourself at one of my parties? You’re lucky. Cause everyone there is amazing. Ah, I can’t believe how blessed I am to know the best human beings.